Navigating Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): Understand Your Attachment Style for Empowered Coping

What is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)?

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is something that not many people know about. But Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is becoming a more widely recognised term within the neurodiversity world and in mental health circles, particularly among individuals with ADHD and with the rise of TikTok. It describes an extreme emotional sensitivity and intense fear of rejection, criticism, or disapproval.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is a heightened emotional response to the perception of rejection, often characterised by intense feelings of shame, humiliation, and a deep need for social acceptance. The emotional reactions to perceived rejection can be disproportionate to the situation, leading to significant distress and a desire to avoid situations that might trigger these feelings.

While it's commonly associated with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), RSD can affect those without ADHD as well. It affects many neurodivergent people and often makes it feel like you are experiencing physical pain when someone does something that feels like rejection. For example, if someone cancels on you or has said something particularly critical, hurtful or thoughtless. Not everyone who is neurodivergent experiences this rejection sensitivity dysphoria. However, it is common among people with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), ADHD, AuDHD and autism.

Understanding Attachment Styles:

Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby, suggests that our early experiences with caregivers shape our attachment styles, influencing how we connect with others in adulthood. There is some evidence that understanding these attachment styles can help us to process our rejection, abandonment and RSD feelings. There are four main attachment styles:

1.     Secure Attachment:

Folks with a secure attachment style generally feel comfortable with both intimacy and independence. They are confident in their relationships and trust their partners.

2.     Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment:

Those with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style seek high levels of intimacy, approval, and responsiveness from their partners. They often worry about being abandoned and may be overly sensitive to signs of rejection.

3.     Avoidant Attachment:

Folks with an avoidant attachment style may feel discomfort with closeness and may seek independence over intimacy. They may downplay the importance of close relationships and may have difficulty trusting others.

4.     Disorganized Attachment:

This attachment style often stems from inconsistent caregiving and can result in difficulties with emotional regulation and forming secure relationships. It may contribute to challenges in managing rejection sensitivity.

Help! I have Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)! What can I do?

1. Sharing Your Needs:

If you are more aware of situations when this occurs, you can preempt the possibility that you may feel this dysphoria. You might tell others that if you are going to be critical, you will experience this feeling. You may want to ask people to reschedule with a solid plan instead of them cancelling on you or asking to postpone. For example, they may say they can't attend the party tonight, but they could go to the cinema with you on Friday at 7 pm instead.

2.     Self-Awareness:

Understanding your rejection sensitivity and recognising the patterns of behaviour associated with your RSD is a crucial first step. Journaling, therapy, and self-reflection can be helpful tools for gaining insight into your emotional responses. By looking into which attachment style you have, you can better understand your reactions to rejection and criticism.

3.     Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation:

Practising mindfulness techniques can aid in staying present and managing intense emotions. Learning to regulate emotions effectively, especially in the face of perceived rejection, is a valuable skill. Self-care such as meditation, Yin Yoga, gratitude practice, and time in nature can all be incredibly powerful for self-reflection and emotional regulation.

4.     Communication Skills:

Developing effective communication skills can help express your feelings and concerns to others, fostering a deeper understanding of your relationship needs.

5.     Seeking Support:

Building a support network of understanding friends, family, or mental health professionals can provide a safety net during challenging times. Having people who validate your experiences and emotions can be immensely beneficial. Knowing the different forms of self-care and how they can help you is vital.

6.     Attachment Style Exploration:

Reflecting on your attachment style and how it may contribute to your experiences of rejection sensitivity can offer valuable insights. Coaching can help you understand your needs and next steps, if needed.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) in Conclusion

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria can be a complex and challenging aspect of mental health. Still, with self-awareness, mindfulness, and understanding your attachment style, you can develop coping strategies that empower them to navigate relationships and life more resiliently. Embracing your unique emotional landscape and seeking support when needed can pave the way towards a more fulfilling and balanced life, fostering deeper connections with others and, notably, oneself.

If you are struggling with neurodivergence or being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and want some extra support to move from stress, burnout, overwhelm and disorganisation to thriving, please do get in touch and book an Earth Coaching free discovery call using the button below.