Managing or Recovering from a Chronic Illness
Being someone who has consistently had to put their health before everything else, I understand how demotivating it can be to have a flare up, low energy, pain, brain fog, or low mood. Recovery is possible for some and for others it is about managing the symptoms well.
The Importance of Social Connection when Chronically Ill
We are constantly bombarded by social media, friends and family telling us how we should cope with chronic health conditions (who are often not at all experienced at living in our shoes) and that is exhausting! Many of my clients and the individuals I meet say that they struggle to form meaningful and lasting friendships with people local to them, especially given the Covid lockdowns have hardly helped!
Friendships and social participation are key indicators of quality of life, especially for extroverted individuals. However lonely and isolating it feels to be ill, there are others out there in the same boat. Many disabled and chronically ill folks form their most meaningful friendships through online groups and activities, such as Facebook disability and neurodiversity groups, support groups, part-time educational courses, etc. As such, they may not get out and about or may not have the support to build meaningful connections in their local community or spend time in nature, which itself has been proven to improve mood and general wellbeing.
If you feel lonely, isolated, misunderstood by peers or are struggling to make friends, have a think about what friendship means to you and how you can gain those connections. Would a self-referral to Adult Social Services to recruit a PA, who can assist you in getting out and about more, help you? Can you meet people through a local support group? What self-care do you need?
You are not your productivity!
We are told that when we are ill we must rest. Yet, we are bombarded with the conflicting view that productivity equals our worth as human beings. There are numerous negative portrayals of disabled and chronically ill folks in the media. We are represented as benefit scroungers and as lazy and unmotivated individuals, who are leeches sucking dry the benefit system. It can be hard to rest and try your best to recover (which is itself a full-time job sometimes, especially if you have no support with it!) when you are being confronted with these damaging messages.
Because we have received this kind of messaging most or all of our lives, it can be very hard not to feel guilty when you become too ill to work. You may get signed off by a doctor, leaving you thinking “What now?!” Or you may simply avoid seeing the doctor at all. Instead you may desperately try to push through by staying in work to feel productive, only to have multiple flare ups. Constant flare ups may then cause repeated or extended sick leave or even job loss, only for the cycle to repeat. Whatever path you have been through, deep down you may feel that if you are ever able to recover, you need to rest and prioritise managing your health and/or recovery journey.
If you haven’t considered coaching, it can be a great way to hold yourself accountable when those mind gremlins pop up and make you feel bad about doing what you actually need: resting and pacing. I have cultivated a unique approach in my coaching practice so that you can have the restful pacing you need, alongside a connection to the outdoors and a new way of thinking about ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’. You have value as a human, whether or not you are as productive as you used to be, or as productive as other people are.
Getting Support Whilst Waiting for Diagnosis or Healthcare
So many neurodiverse and chronically ill people fall through the cracks in the systems, because it can take a long time to get diagnosed and then a long time to wait for help. All that time you are waiting, you could be receiving support. You don’t need to have a diagnosis to work with me, just be able to describe the symptoms and how they impact your life. You can receive coaching whilst you go through diagnosis or any step between diagnosis and recovery. This is fundamental to know because, even once diagnosed, we don’t always receive the help to cope with the emotional and psychological loss of health or get support with navigating the recovery process, which is why I set up Bex Harper Earth Coaching. I decided that it is about time neurodiverse and chronically ill people had the support they deserved at every step of the health journey, from pre-diagnosis to management and maybe even recovery!
I offer a range of services and run events to help nurture neurodiverse and chronically ill people back to a point where they are thriving in their lives. By having me on their team, they know that they are not alone in their journey through chronic illness. If you want to know more about how you can be supported through your chronic illness journey, please contact me or book a discovery session to experience coaching.
If you are not ready to start a coaching journey yet, but would like a free downloadable daily planner to support your recovery, please join my mailing list. In doing so, you will also find out more about upcoming support that will help you to make the changes you need in your present to create a much more positive future. Whatever happens, remember you are worthy of self-care, rest, recovery, love and respect.
