Overcoming Inadequacy: Thriving with Affirmations for ADHD, AuDHD, Autism and Dyslexia
Overcoming Inadequacy and self-hatred or low self-esteem with ADHD, AuDHD, Autism and Dyslexia
Low self-esteem is common, particularly for us neurodivergents who think and behave in ways that are perceived by neurotypicals as ‘weird’ or not ‘the norm’. Being told we are different all the time can develop into chronically low self-esteem or self-hatred. It can be draining, frustrating and demotivating.
Overcoming self-hatred is a challenging and deeply personal journey, and affirmations can be a powerful tool in this process. Affirmations work by reshaping negative thought patterns and fostering a more positive and compassionate self-perception. Here's how affirmations can help you overcome low self-esteem and self-hatred:
Interrupting Negative Thought Cycles: Often, neurodivergent folks have been told throughout their lives that they “aren’t good enough”, that they are “too much” to deal with or that they are being “too dramatic”. This leads many autistic, dyslexic, AuDHD and ADHD folks to worry about what others think of them or if they will be judged or let others down. Affirmations act as interrupters to the cycle of our negative thoughts. By consciously replacing self-hating thoughts with positive affirmations, you disrupt the automatic and harmful patterns that contribute to feelings of self-loathing. Trying to catch these negative thoughts is the aim.
Cultivating Self-Compassion: Affirmations encourage self-compassion and kindness. They remind you to treat yourself with the same understanding and empathy that you would offer to a friend facing difficulties. This shift in perspective helps break down the barriers of self-hatred to help you believe you deserve happiness as much as your friends do. Whether you write them on cards and placing them around the home or record your voice saying them and listen to them whilst you have breakfast, or another method that works for you, you can reprogram your mind.
Challenging Destructive Beliefs: Affirmations challenge the destructive beliefs that fuel self-hatred. By frequently reading or listening to and repeating positive statements, you begin to counteract the negative messages you've internalised over time, replacing them with positive affirmations that build a more constructive self-narrative. You can take back control over your thoughts.
At Earth Coaching®, we look at the beliefs you have collected over the years and where they have come from. Often, people find they are living by or judging themselves on someone else’s expectations or values — be that from parents, past schooling, peers, colleagues, social class or other influences.
Building a Positive Self-Image: Affirmations contribute to building a positive self-image. Over time, as you reinforce positive qualities and aspects of yourself, you start to see yourself in a more balanced and accepting light, reducing the intensity of self-hatred. It is a process that takes time and is an exercise in cultivating patience as well, but you can get there with the right support.
Affirming Self-Worth: Frequently using affirmations can reinforce the idea that you are inherently worthy of love and acceptance, without any external approval. These affirmations emphasise your value as an individual, independent of mistakes or perceived shortcomings. Your value is not based on how productive you are or how high achieving you are. You are inherently worthy of love. This is important to remember.
Promoting Mindfulness: Affirmations encourage mindfulness, promoting a present-focused awareness. This can help you let go of past mistakes and future anxieties, allowing you to appreciate and affirm yourself in the current moment. This can help stop rumination and worrying about something you did in the past or will do in the future. Mindfulness has shown to have impressive results at improving mental wellbeing, especially when coupled with nature.
Setting Realistic Expectations: Affirmations can help you set realistic expectations for yourself. By acknowledging your strengths and accepting your limitations, you create a more balanced and achievable perspective, reducing the likelihood of self-hatred. Our biggest weaknesses are often our biggest strengths and vice versa, and at Earth Coaching®, we look at these in depth and uncover hidden layers of your traits that help you to appreciate your weaknesses and flaws, as well as be confident in your strengths.
Examples of Affirmations to Overcome Self-Hatred for Neurodivergent Folks:
"I am deserving of love and compassion, including from myself."
"I release the need for perfection and embrace my journey of self-discovery."
"I forgive myself for past mistakes and choose to learn and grow from them."
"Like everyone, I am a work-in-progress, and that's okay: I am evolving and improving every day."
"I choose to focus on my strengths and celebrate the unique qualities that make me who I am."
"I am not defined by my mistakes; I am defined by my willingness to learn and change."
“May I be well, happy, kind and free of suffering.”
“I am grateful for the wonderful people and opportunities in my life.”
“I seek joy, love, laughter, harmony and knowledge for myself and others.”
“I am enough, not too much or too little, and I believe in myself.”
Remember that overcoming self-hatred is a gradual process, and it's important to be patient with yourself. Consistently practising affirmations and seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can contribute to a more positive and compassionate self-view over time. You may wish to list your strengths by writing down all the ones you can think of and then asking those around you to list a couple of things they think you are good at or the things they appreciate about you.
Moving Forwards: Neurodiversity Coaching with a Narrative Focus
If you want to change the narrative you have about yourself, it is a good idea to work with a neurodiversity coach who has trained in and frequently uses narrative practices in coaching to help you uncover the narratives you believe about yourself and how you would like to change those narratives.
At Earth Coaching®, we use this method as a core way to engage with the coaching process and re-image and change your future. To explore working with me, click below to book a discovery session. I look forward to meeting you soon!
