Rejection Sensitivity Disorder: Self-Soothing Techniques for ADHD, AuDHD, and Autism

Rejection Sensitivity Disorder (RSD) can be an overwhelming experience, especially if you have ADHD, AuDHD, or are autistic. 

Rejection or perceived rejection often leads to intense emotional responses, making it challenging to navigate everyday interactions. However, there are practical strategies that can help you self-soothe and manage these feelings effectively. 

It's also important to remember that for many of us neurodivergents, these intense emotions are often quick to pass.  Neurodivergent individuals sometimes process emotions more rapidly than neurotypicals, whilst at times, we require more time or support to fully understand and work through difficult emotions.

When You First Feel the Rejection (RSD) Onset:

1. Grounding Techniques

Grounding exercises are a powerful way to anchor yourself in the present moment, especially when your mind starts racing with negative thoughts. One popular method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique:

• 5: Look for five things you can see around you. What do you notice about these things? It might be patterns on the surface, colours or the emotions the thing brings up.

• 4: Identify four things you can touch and consider what their texture is like. 

• 3: Notice three things you can hear. 

• 2: Recognise two things you can smell.

• 1: Focus on one thing you can taste.

This technique helps shift your focus from internal distress to the external world, reducing the intensity of your emotional response.

2. Mindful Breathing

Mindful breathing is a straightforward yet effective technique to calm the mind. By focusing on your breath, you can regulate your physiological response to stress. Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique:

• Inhale for 4 seconds.

• Hold your breath for 7 seconds.

• Exhale slowly for 8 seconds.

Repeat this cycle a few times. This repetition activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and helps manage emotional dysregulation. 

3. Sensory Comfort

For many autistic folks and those with AuDHD and ADHD, sensory experiences play a significant role in emotional well-being. Surround yourself with comforting sensory inputs: a soft blanket, a weighted lap pad, or even a soothing scent can make a big difference. 

Identifying and utilising your preferred sensory comforts can provide immediate relief and a sense of safety. Consider about having at least one sensory comforter for each of the five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch) to have handy for difficult emotional situations, and carrying one with you at all times. 

After You Have Settled Somewhat - How to Soothe the Rejection (RSD) Further:

1. Creative Expression

Engaging in creative activities can be a therapeutic outlet for processing emotions. Whether it's drawing, writing, painting, pottery, singing or playing a musical instrument, expressing yourself creatively allows you to channel your feelings in a constructive way.  Creative activities can be particularly beneficial for those with neurodivergent brains, as many of these activities provides a non-verbal medium to explore and release emotions, which provides a contrast to therapy or coaching, which you may also wish to pursue as a longer-term option.

2. Physical Activity

Physical movement is an excellent way to release pent-up energy and stress. Simple activities like walking, stretching, weight lifting or even dancing in your living room can help reduce the emotional load. Exercise releases endorphins, which naturally enhance your mood and provide a sense of relief from the intensity of rejection and any other feelings that have arisen. 

3. Self-Compassion and Affirmations

Rejection can often trigger harsh self-criticism. Combat this by practising self-compassion and reminding yourself of your worth. Create a list of positive affirmations that resonate with you. For example, "I am worthy of love and respect" or "I am resilient and capable". Repeat these affirmations to counterbalance negative self-talk.

Longer-Term Strategies for RSD:

1. Establish Boundaries

Rejection can feel more intense when personal boundaries are not respected. Take time to evaluate and establish boundaries in your relationships. Setting clear limits can protect your emotional well-being and reduce the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed by rejection.

2. Time in Nature to Soothe

Having a consistent self-care routine can provide stability and comfort. Incorporate outdoor activities that you find calming and enjoyable. Whether it's reading a book at the park, going hiking in the woods, or enjoying a cup of tea at the beach, creating a routine that incorporates time in nature is essential for emotional regulation. Choose a comforting ritual that helps you wind down and relax.

3. Practice Gratitude

In moments of distress, it's easy to focus on what's going wrong. Shift your perspective by practising gratitude. Take a moment to list things you're grateful for, no matter how small. This simple practice can help shift your focus from rejection to the positive aspects of your life.

4. Seek Support

Sometimes, the best way to manage rejection is to talk about it with someone who understands. Whether it's a trusted friend, a therapist, or a coach, sharing your feelings can lighten the emotional burden. Coaching, in particular, can offer personalised guidance and strategies tailored to your unique experiences and needs. Remember, you're not alone, and there are people who genuinely care and want to support you.

Living with Rejection Sensitivity Disorder can be challenging, but with the right self-soothing techniques, you can manage your emotions and find peace. Remember, it's okay to feel hurt, but you have the power to nurture yourself through those moments. Implementing these strategies can provide comfort and resilience, helping you navigate life's ups and downs with greater ease.

If you're seeking tailored support and guidance, I invite you to reach out and explore how my coaching services can help you thrive. Whether you're looking for personalised strategies or a safe space to discuss your experiences, I'm here to assist you on your journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment. Get in touch today to book a session and start your path to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Let's work together to transform your challenges into strengths and unlock your full potential.